I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
