I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
As shirtless as possible
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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