dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Randomize
