And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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