The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
