When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize