Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
