there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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