I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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