THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
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