Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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