i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Dicks are not precious.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
