WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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