I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize