i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
