the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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