Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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