Your mouth is God's brothel.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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