Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
