he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
