I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I lost the right to judge tonight
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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