Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
