Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
