So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
