Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize