So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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