When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
