Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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