I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
