And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
