I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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