you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Randomize