What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
