she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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