So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
