I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
