I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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