She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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