It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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