if i can run in heels then i can drive
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I need to align my fucking chakras
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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