I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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