She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
