I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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