he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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