My nipple is on Facebook.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
