god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
