she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
