its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
