My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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