New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
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