girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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