the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
