i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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