there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize