Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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