when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
