i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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