Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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