Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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