i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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