i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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