So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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