What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
