Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Randomize
