we're chasing vodka with high fives
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Randomize
